Day 29. A regular day. Projects, intimate massagers, and hot dogs.
Workday. While boiling. It's HOT. I have AC but it's so loud and I feel like it spills chemicals into the camper. It gives me a headache. So, the challenge is to see how long I can go without boob and butt sweat. They are inevitable.
I woke up feeling oddly balanced - the worry had disappeared. I was going to make it to Bryce. I wasn't failing. I still didn't know where I was going to camp until Monday. I had resigned myself to searching for a gas station or store but couldn't find any evidence that those were possibilities in any of the apps at my disposal.
Then it occurred to me that I hadn't checked availability where I was staying and by some miraculous set of circumstances, they had spots until Monday....and my spot was available!!! I didn't even have to move. I actually jumped up and down in the office. I felt like my whole weekend freed up.
For as much as I hate having to start my workday on east coast time, I'm grateful at the end of the day - although I haven't made the adjustment to quit earlier. I usually end up working later because I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I quit so early in the day. On Friday afternoons though, I give myself credit for those extra hours and try to bug out early. The moment when you put work away feels good. Release.
I facetimed Cate because I missed her, knowing what's going on in her life. She showed me the cats and I talked to them and Bean started to cry. That made me feel horrible. This is a black mark on my grave.
My neighbor had invited me for a fire for the evening and I wanted to run out and get a few things before that. I also wanted to get her a bottle of wine as a thank you for helping me on Wednesday when I locked my keys and my phone in the car. I had also seen a shoe holder that someone had built for their camper and I was determined to put something together without using a saw - so I could recoup some of the valuable space that my shoes take up in the doorway. I wanted a project to work on, feel like I was creating, getting something done. So, Home Depot, liquor store and Walmart, here I come!
Unfortunately, I didn't take pics of my measurements before I left and I immediately forgot one of them. I messaged the Bushwhacker Plus Owners group on fb to see if someone could measure for me but they didn't get back to me in time to buy wood. I was delighted that Home Depot had a do-it-yourself saw and miter box set up so I could do all the cuts myself. But without the measurements, I couldn't buy the wood. I need to sketch out a design with measurements and I'll tackle that project later. Thinking L brackets....
They did have a perfect faucet for my kitchen sink though. It's widely accepted by the owners of my camper that the standard faucet leaves virtually no room to even fit a plate under. Doing dishes sometimes feels like playing a game of Tetris. I had procrastinating on this mod for two reasons: 1) Did I really NEED a new faucet? I could make do. 2) How long was that project going to take? Was it going to be one of those multiple trips to the hardware store kind of projects? It turned out to be a super fast switch out and I immediately regretted not having done it sooner.
I stopped at the liquor store just long enough to grab a bottle of wine, tell myself that I really didn't NEED another bottle of bourbon, and witness a horrible encounter between a dangerous, infantile man and a woman he almost hit in the parking lot. This "man" walked into the store screaming vile things like, "I'm going to put my dick in your ass," and, "This is a man's world. We need to stand up to these bitches." The woman had come in shortly before him. He approached her, irate, "I didn't hit you bitch, did I? Fucking settle down you ugly cunt. You blonde bimbo." Now, this woman, she wasn't cowering. She told him that he shouldn't be speeding across a parking lot and she told him he was a sexist pig. The situation was escalating. The man's friends did nothing. Not one of the other customers or employees said anything. I didn't know what to do. The woman had come into my aisle. My first instinct was to mind my own business. I don't need any trouble but I kept thinking of all the things that I had learned in the last year about not being silent. The woman was commenting to me about the man. He noticed that. Started screaming, "Stop talking shit about me. That's all you can do. You can't take me. Fucking weak bitches." I looked at him and said, "Hey man. Just chill out. Let it roll off." Yeah - that didn't have an impact. "I'm not letting anything roll off. This is a man's world. We need to stop rolling over." I laughed. A flood of thoughts. My initial reaction was to want him to feel small. Would you exist without a woman, you fucker? I'd hate to be your girlfriend. Who hurt you? Glad you're buying alcohol. Just what you need. I wanted to put him in his place. I wanted to mention dick size...does the volume of your screaming make up for your tiny penis? How much money do you make? I bet I make more. I bet I'm worth many times what you are. I could buy and sell you many times over. I didn't say any of that.....don't escalate and with no one from the store calling the police or ushering the man out, it didn't feel like a safe space. The woman worried that he was going to do something to her car. Finally, an employee appeared and asked if she was ok. The man was making his purchase and still screaming. The employee told the woman not to engage. (This reminded me of all the racist situations I've learned about in the last year. It becomes the responsibility of the victim to de-escalate. The perpetuator leaves the encounter unchecked and without consequences.) The woman was worried to leave the store. I suggested that it might be best if she called the police. There was only one road out of the liquor store and he could be waiting somewhere along the way. She didn't. I wanted to follow her as she left but she left before I could catch up with her. I scanned the area on my drive out. I left feeling like I hadn't done enough to be an upstander in that situation. It bothered me.
My neighbor cancelled our fire, noting the possibility of high winds....and she wanted to go to bed early because she was starting her day at 5 am to go to Capitol Reef and Escalante NPs. She invited me to tag along but I declined. I'm getting more comfortable with the thought of doing nothing days. I may join her for Zion on Sunday.
Not quite feeling like I had my need for doing a project fully sated, I moved onto installing the insect screens on my fridge venting. THIS was supposed to be an easy task but I found that it took way longer than the sink. I just needed to wrap cable ties around the vent but I didn't ever figure out how to do it perfectly until after I had installed the last one....well, not the last one because I realized I have another vent!!! (place Amazon order for another set of screens) Now, learning this skill wasn't a waste.
I had to take a break in my screen installation to dash across the street to the Notorious B.I.G Hot Dog House before they closed at 7pm. With just minutes to spare, I glanced at the menu and without much thought, ordered the item with the longest description on the menu. As I was making my way across the street, Ben facetimed me to get caught up after being off grid. He had been in Yosemite and had just arrived in Reno and wanted to check-in and see what's up. The conversation didn't last long because he and Yassin were about to go out and party - he wanted to get out the door. It helped pass the time while waiting for the Widowmaker hot dog. I also had a conversation with a fellow customer. Sometimes, I feel like I have a sign on my forehead that says, "Talk to me." Most times I'm okay with that. Other times, I just want to chill.
Oh, in case you were wondering, Walmart has the following policy: